Sonoma County’s growing toll of domestic violence

Published October 18, 2025 in The Press Democrat for Close to Home

As we recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, our community reflects on the devastating news of a marked increase in domestic violence incidents and deaths of Sonoma County residents.

In August, The Press Democrat recounted the details of seven domestic violence incidents that claimed 15 lives in less than a year (“Deadly domestic violence surges,” Aug. 17). Nationally and locally, domestic violence-related homicide and suicide rates are on the rise.

I’ve been CEO of YWCA Sonoma County since 2012 and receiving calls from reporters responding to the news of a domestic violence tragedy is something I’ll never get used to. The query usually begins with “what is YWCA’s response to the recent tragedy?” And often continues with “tell us, what could have been done to prevent this family’s loss?”

The answers are complicated. For as many families as we support with our advocacy and resources, many others will not reach out to us for help. Victims are often isolated by their abusive partners and groomed over time to believe they are at fault and deserving of the abuse. Many abusive relationships include children and understandably the welfare of one’s own children becomes a factor in choosing whether to seek support and deciding to leave.

For YWCA Sonoma County, we remain steadfast and committed to our vital and singular role providing Sonoma County’s only 24/7 domestic violence crisis hotline — 707-546-1234 — answered from within the walls of the County’s only confidential Safe House shelter, a refuge for families fleeing violence in the place where we should all feel the safest: inside our own homes.

Considering the impact of national immigration policies, which lead victims to feel unsafe coming forward for services in person, the value of YWCA’s 24/7 crisis hotline in our community cannot be overstated.

Both confidentiality and anonymity are the cornerstones of advocacy and safety planning at YWCA Sonoma County.

For us, an additional major concern is for the children who witness domestic violence, including recent cases where children the ages of those we serve in our child care centers were in the home at the time of their mother’s homicide at the hands of their father. Children living in homes where love and fear live side by side can result in generations of us carrying the weight of unresolved pain and trauma.

YWCA Sonoma County’s counseling support services is an important ally to survivors of trauma offering specialized short and long-term therapy services to help them gain an understanding of trauma and develop healthy strategies to cope with life stressors. As a result, participants learn to navigate adversity in positive ways, improve well-being and minimize disruption to daily functioning. We are accepting new clients and offer sliding scale rates. YWCA Sonoma County is also Medi-Cal approved.

I’m asking for a community call to action. If you or someone you love is being victimized in an abusive relationship, please call YWCA’s crisis hotline – you could save a life.

For nearly 50 years, YWCA Sonoma County has served this community, and we will be here now and into the future, as long as Sonoma County needs us. Learn more and donate to our programming at ywcasc.org.

Madeleine Keegan O’Connell is CEO of YWCA Sonoma County.